Video – 12 March 1539: The death of Thomas Boleyn

Posted By on March 12, 2019

As you will know, I am recording an “on this day in Tudor history” video for the Anne Boleyn Files and Tudor Society YouTube channel every day of 2019. Well, today’s video is about the death of Thomas Boleyn, father of Queen Anne Boleyn, on this day in 1539, so I thought I’d share it with you.

Here are some links to articles that you may also find interesting:

My article on the spellings of Boleyn can be found here.

Here is my video on Thomas and Elizabeth Boleyn:

8 thoughts on “Video – 12 March 1539: The death of Thomas Boleyn”

  1. Christine says:

    I visited Hever once but never saw the tomb of Sir Thomas in St. Peter’s church and have often regretted it, for his tomb certainly is very beautiful with the gold monumental brass work and I feel his daughters falcon badge emblem has a nice touch to it, for it reminds the world that this man was the father of Queen Anne Boleyn, a disgraced woman who died on the scaffold and whose name we have sought to vindicate ever since, he seems a very hardworking man, ambitious yes but not overly pushy, a man of common sense who unlike the fictional portrayal of him, was not pleased with his daughters liaison with the king his master,and one can imagine the worried exchanges he had with his wife over it, there is an inscription to one son who died in infancy but not to the other and I wonder why this is so, maybe the other sibling died as a baby but he was christened and given a name so why was he not on the tomb also? There may have been others who died as his remark to Cromwell in later years tells of how his wife had been pregnant every year, maybe they too died when very young and so were not given an inscription to say they ever existed, it was an age when infantile deaths were common and it was not consigned to the poor but in the wealthy households too, we have only to see Queen Katherine’s offspring to know that death was no respecter of persons, they must have been buried with Thomas however and so we can safely assume he does not lie on his own, his wife pre deceased him and lies with her Howard ancestors in Lambeth church, of which is now a museum and cafe, Thomas certainly had a remarkable life and the fact he survived the fall out of his family shows in what high esteem the king held him, his reputation has taken a battering, in The Tudor’s it showed him egging Anne on to seduce the king, it showed him as selfish and hard hearted and really it’s simply the work of writers who show him like that, there is no evidence that he pushed both his daughters in the kings path and in the beginning he had made sure they were all given good education, Anne he had sent to the court of Margaret of Savoy which was famous for its culture and being one of the finest renaissance courts in Europe, I believe he loved all his children dearly and was very proud of them, and this shows in the way he was able to obtain a place for Anne, Margaret was a friend of his and she was so impressed with little Anne she later wrote him a very enthusiastic letter praising her qualities m, both he and his wife Elizabeth must have been so proud of her, and George was his only son who survived to adulthood and he obtained posts for him too at court, and he went abroad on business and soon showed his skill at diplomacy, he was probably with his father at lot and as Anne’s star began to rise favours cane his way also, we don’t know what he looked like but he is described as handsome the ladies no doubt found him irresistible, he had a talent for poetry too, and along with Wyatt was soon part of Anne’s dazzling circle, Mary we know we have no mention of her particular talents, but like her father her character has been maligned, she has been painted as little better than a tramp but then again there is little evidence, they were a brilliant family, and Sir Thomas Boleyn was responsible for making sure his remaining children all had brilliant futures, losing several in the early years of his marriage he suffered the grief any parent dies when they bury their own children, that same nightmare occurred many years later when he and his wife had again to suffer that same grief when he lost two more children, this time by the highest court in the land and their names were tainted across England and Europe as vile unnatural depraved monsters, maybe this time he wished also that he was dead and he and his wife must have been overwhelmed by the sadness and hopelessness of their situation, Sir Thomas has been at court since the kings father he had in a sense seen Henry V111 grow, and had witnessed the way his once favoured friends ended up on the scaffold, although loyal to him I believe he feared the fickleness of his character and I think he was a very moral man too, he did not want his daughters to sully their name by becoming his mistress, although to be a kings mistress was itself in an honour I think only if u were the only mistress then you could claim that title, Bessie Blount had come and go become pregnant and married of, I think Thomas was much like Anne and did not want that for her, he knew she was gifted and academically bright, she deserved better than to be a cast of mistress and possibly he felt a bit of contempt for Mary as that’s what had happened to her, he had no way of knowing that Anne would one day be queen, and once it became obvious that Henry was madly in love with her than he must have put his initial reluctance aside and begun to advise her, however his volatile daughter once married failed to listen to him or her mother, who must have pleased with her to show the king more respect, don’t berate him when he took mistresses etc, but she was so headstrong she didn’t listen, they must have despaired as to how long she would keep his interest, her death and that of her brother must have reminded Thomas of how contrary was the kings affection, his daughter had gambled and lost, but for the sake of his wife he had to carry on the best he could, he probably did go home to Hever for a whilst and the stripping of his posts must have seemed like the final nail in the coffin, but he had long been a courtier and this was expected there was nothing personal in it, even so it must have added to his depression, the rumour about his so called marriage to the kings neice shows how he had soon regained the favour of his lord and master, but he died not long afterwards having outlived his wife, a very clever man who had given his country her most controversial queen ever, RIP Sir Thomas Boleyn, you served your king and country well.

  2. Banditqueen says:

    Thomas Boleyn was a man who had served the King and his father for a long time, well over four decades and whose fortunes were turned upside down by the execution of his son and daughter three years earlier.

    Before he married Elizabeth Howard, before any of his children were born Thomas Boleyn served King Henry Vii and helped put down the Cornish Rebellion. Within a few years he had married the sister of the future third Duke of Norfolk, Thomas Howard, Elizabeth and soon had a house full of children. In 1503_Thomas Boleyn did his King a special service and was singularly honoured when he became one of the six gentlemen sent to escort Princess Margaret, eldest daughter of the King to her new husband in Scotland in 1503. James iv was about thirty and Margaret was almost fourteen, she was to be his Queen and the gentlemen and the other courtiers and ladies who came with Margaret were his guests for several days, enjoying lavish entertainment.

    Thomas Boleyn and his wife Elizabeth had five children between 1499 and 1505,_Mary, Anne, George, Henry and Thomas, the two young boys died in infancy, but his two daughters and son had good careers at Court ahead of them. As you can read in the articles and the video, Thomas Boleyn was a very talented man and his skills well used by the second Tudor King. He was a man of learning and he later wrote to and received letters and books from Erasmus and he proved to be an astute and skilful diplomat. He was given a break when as part of a wider diplomatic team he was sent as a special envoy to Brussels to negotiate with Emperor Maximilian for an alliance against the French. They were left with his daughter, Margaret of Austria, who entertained them while he was off hunting, gaining at some point permission to negotiate on his behalf. These negotiations lasted almost one year, Thomas coming home for instructions at one point and back within a few days. While waiting for Maximillian to come back to Court Margaret, a great gambler made a bet with Thomas on a horse race offering him her horse if he won. There is a bit of speculation that he used the opportunity to ask for a place for his daughter, Anne at her spectacular Court. Whether that is true or not, Thomas made an impression on Margaret of Austria and she agreed to a placement for his daughter. Anne came the following Summer for one year until she transferred to the Court of Claude of France, wife of King Francis I.

    Thomas was successful in his efforts and Henry and Maximillian met and made an alliance, exchanging gifts and making a great display. The alliance lasted for a short time and Henry made peace with France, with the marriage of his sister, Mary to King Louis Xii, and Thomas sent his other daughter to be one of her ladies. Mary Boleyn is listed as one of the ladies of Mary Tudor, but Anne appears to have remained in Flanders until 1515,_when she joined the French Court. Thomas Boleyn was stationed in France for a time and as the Ambassador there he was almost indispensable to Cardinal Wolsey and the King. He was very much part of the achievement of the glittering and wonderful Field of the Cloth of Gold in 1520.

    As we know Anne was called home in 1521 to marry James Butler, Earl of Ormond in order for her father to gain his ancient Irish inheritance. This marriage didn’t come about and Anne made her debut at the English Court in 1522 at the entertainment called the Chateaux Vert alongside her sister, Mary and the King’s sister, now Duchess of Suffolk. Both Boleyn girls came into the service of Queen Katherine, the Queen Anne and Henry would betray. Thomas Boleyn held several official posts at Court from the moment Henry Viii took the throne and was hard working and loyal. The family were doing well before Anne became his lover and Queen and they didn’t send either daughter into his bed as his mistress for a meal ticket. Henry did reward Thomas and his family after he fell in love with Anne and they began a relationship, they were ambitious, as was Anne, but no more than any other family who became close to the King. During the late 1520s Thomas and his son, George were sent on various missions abroad with regards to the King’s Great Matter and Thomas was instrumental in the downfall of Cardinal Wolsey because one of his jobs as the head of the King’s household was to investigate royal financial arrangements. When Wolsey failed to get Henry his annulment at the Court of Blackfriars in 1529 he came under scrutiny and it was alleged that he had been using monies from dissolved monasteries for his collages for poor scholars, rather than part of that going to the treasury. Norfolk, Suffolk and Thomas Boleyn ended up in a collusion to complete his downfall, but he was pardoned by King Henry and given a pension. Eventually, however, Wolsey was charged with treason and arrested but died on the way to London in November 1530.

    George Boleyn was valued for his gifts of eloquently giving speeches and he delivered the King’s case for his annulment to Convocation in 1531. Thomas Boleyn aided the King with his case in Parliament and he supported him as he advanced himself as Head of the Church. It was to Thomas Boleyn that Henry turned when Anne gave up and wanted to go home, after being so long waiting for their marriage to make things right on his behalf. There is evidence that Thomas may have hesitated over his daughter’s marriage to the King as dangerous but in the end he stood with them, and why not? Thomas and Elizabeth were probably present when they married in January 1533 and he certainly didn’t mistreat Anne as Queen.

    Henry had to convince the rest of the Christian world now that Anne was Queen and he sent her father and brother to France in 1534. He continued to work and serve at Court during her reign, he was one of several people sent on a number of delegations to Queen Katherine and Princess Mary and it is true that he disowned his daughter, Mary when she turned up pregnant, but that was typical of a strict father of this period. Mary appealed to Cromwell and her family, Cromwell appealed to the King who told Thomas to make an allowance for her and her husband, William Stafford. Thomas was still key in a number of important official posts, continued to gain from the King’s favour and he was key to acting as a support for Cromwell and Eustace Chapuys in promoting the approach to a potential alliance with the Emperor and there is no evidence that he was involved in any schemes as he is portrayed in the Tudors. He was involved in the meeting with Chapuys which led to him being positioned just about where he could encounter Queen Anne and Henry at Mass in April 1536 and Chapuys bowed to acknowledge her. It was, however, smoke and mirrors as soon Henry and Cromwell were looking for a way out of this marriage within a week or so.

    We really don’t know what Thomas and Elizabeth thought about the fall of their family and Anne’s arrest and execution or that of George but although he did his duty during the trial of the other men, he wasn’t present at the trial of his son and daughter, probably excused as they were related to him. However, when Anne and George were taken from them, they must have been devastated. Thomas had to retire but when Jane Seymour gave birth to a son and heir his fortunes rose again because he was commanded to attend his baptism. He was one of a number who paid their loyal duty to King and Prince and gave rich gifts. He has been wrongly condemned for returning to Court and the King’s favour, but he had no choice. The gentry ran the country on his behalf and he relied upon them both at Court and to keep local law and order. His family were dependent on service in the name of their King in order to flourish. It’s not as if they could just go and get work somewhere else, society was structured and they could only serve as they knew how. Thomas served the King during the Pilgrimage of Grace, but he lost his rank as Lord Privy Seal. He lost his wife, Elizabeth, in 1538,_and probably broken in spirit, but a good age, in his sixties, Thomas Boleyn, that stalwart courtier and man of long, loyal service, died and passed to the Lord. Henry paid for masses for his soul and he did pay honour to his old friend and servant and paid tribute to him.

    Thomas Boleyn has been maligned in many ways, despite the evidence to the contrary. He was ambitious but didn’t pimp out his children and Henry and Anne’s relationship was a love match. He was a man who was in loyal service for over four decades and he was prosperous in that service long before Anne had any relationship with Henry. He didn’t plot to poison Bishop Fisher or take bribes to ensure his daughters had futures at Court, he didn’t need to. He didn’t plot and scheme behind the scenes and he didn’t plan a take over power of the King when Henry was meant to be out cold as in the Tudors and he certainly was not the horrible father of myth and social media. Instead he cared about the future and survival of his family and was a very talented and well educated man who remained loyal, even when Henry took those he loved from him. I haven’t been to Hever but the picture of his tomb is beautiful.

    RIP Thomas Boleyn, Anne Boleyn, Mary Boleyn, George Boleyn, Elizabeth Boleyn, may your spirits find peace in the beautiful gardens of Hever Castle, your home. Zmen.

  3. Christine says:

    You must go Bq it’s like a fairytale and when you walk around the rooms and the gardens you get a real feeling of history of Henry V111 and Anne Boleyn, this is maybe the one place with the innocence of childhood, where Anne felt truly happy, it was were Henry V111 courted her without the hostile eyes of the court upon them, together they must have walked in the gardens in solitude and spoken.
    words of which we will never know, but can only guess, to attend the christening of the Prince Edward was an honour but how must he have felt as he joined in the ceremony knowing that his daughter had been killed to make the birth of this baby possible, his thoughts must have been full of regret for the tragedy that could have been avoided if only she had been blessed with a son, Sir Thomas was stoic and I do not believe he was a man given to self pity, but to have lost both his clever and talented children not so long before and to have to attend the christening of her rivals son, must have made him weep silent bitter tears.

    1. Banditqueen says:

      That is very beautiful, Christine, he really must have felt horrible, but he had to restore his good name and that of his remaining family and the only way to do that was to serve his King again. Yes, I will make sure I go to Hever and follow in the footsteps of Anne and Henry and their happier days.

  4. Christine says:

    When you consider the age difference between many Royal couples as say, James of Scotland and Princess Margaret, it’s not surprising kings had mistresse’s, apart from the physical side a King wanted a companion his own age to converse properly a meeting of minds so to speak, someone whom he could share his sorrows and pleasures with, he could have had nothing in common with Margaret and her chief duty was to provide him with heirs anyway, he had many mistresse’s as did his son, but Marie de Guise was not a child when she married James V, Margaret was an adolescent and how did she cope with a man sixteen or so years older than her, iv often thought it very wrong that young girls were made to marry much older men but they were Royal, and it was their duty, the marriage of the Tudor princess and the lasvicious worldy wise King of Scotland cemented an alliance between England and her border neighbour, designed to bring peace, but Henry V111 seemed intent on riling his brother in law and it seemed war was inevitable, Margaret must have felt dreadful being loyal to her brother and country of her birth, yet being queen consort of Scotland and wife to her kids, she was stuck in the middle and overnight became a young widow with an infant son, she had had to grow up fast and although there were many other young women in the same situation, like her grandmother Margaret Beaufort for one who became a widow at the age of twelve or thirteen, and had to endure a most difficult pregnancy and labour, in fact it was a wonder she survived because there must have been real worry due to her extreme youth, that she would not, many women in their twenties which is the age mostly considered to be the best to bring children into the world died in childbirth so Margaret Beuforts survival and that of her son was a real miracle, thank heavens those days are behind us now, I know iv gone of topic a bit but when Bq mentioned Margaret it got me thinking about her life because it was far from easy, but yes as for Thomas Boleyn it was a singular honour to be chosen to accompany her to Scotland, the king was saying he wanted only those servants he could trust implicitly with the care of his precious daughter, years later the son of Henry V11 was to murder his faithful servants daughter, but it just goes to show King Henry V111 was not to forget his loyal servant of old and after time Thomas returned to court, the glory days were over but at least he still had some duties to undertake and he performed them as well as he ever had, he had a gift for diplomacy and he was bilingual which had served him well in the past abroad and at home whilst dealing with foreign visitors, so he was a valuable servant, his own loyal servant called him a good Christian master, and the King showed his gratitude for his years of service by having masses said for his soul, really we can say it was not enough for ruining his life and that of his dead widow, but at least he was not made a scapegoat for his son and daughters alleged crimes, and his age was quite good for the day over sixty, we do not know what he died of and there are no records that tell us if he was suffering from an illness, but recent evidence has come to light that the heart can die of sorrow and after Elizabeths demise, he could well have considered he had nothing left to live for, he must have wanted to join his wife and children in paradise where every mortal being hopes to go one day.

    1. Banditqueen says:

      Although Thomas Boleyn was over 60 he was a good age for the Tudor period. Henry Viii had probably worn him out with all the back and forth on diplomatic missions and it is possible that Eustace Chapuys, although he had terrible gout, may have died prematurely because of his decline in health with the hard task of being at the time of the annulment and Katherine of Aragon’s banishment and the changing political flashpoint of Europe, because he retired in the last year of Henry Viii’s reign. He died in the mid 1550s. I agree with you, Christine, the loss of his son and daughter and his wife in terrible circumstances must have affected health and even broken his spirit. Henry was a hard master to please but Thomas managed to keep going, even after his family was taken from him and he put his family and loyalty first.

      I agree with you about the young ages that the upper classes of society being inappropriate, especially from our point of view because it must have been difficult for them to find common ground and they were so young sexually as well. Yes, they were there to have heirs and gain land and advance the family, but really some were terribly young. Lady Margaret Beaufort was twelve years old, her husband was twenty six, but she was only thirteen when she had her baby, the future Henry Vii and a widow as well. Edmund Tudor should have waited a couple of years as was custom and recommend as she was too young but he didn’t. Margaret had a very difficult delivery and it was thought they may die, but surprisingly both lived, although it’s thought that Margaret suffered internal injuries because she didn’t or could not have any more children.

      Among the ordinary gentry and yeoman classes and ordinary people the average age for marriage was 23 or 24 for men and women because they either had to serve an apprenticeship for seven years from the age of fourteen and needed permission or to enter a trade or they had to save up and provide for themselves. This was the normal age but the rich and monarchy put more emphasis on having children and as childbirth killed at least one third of women, they married young to give them a better chance of having healthy children and surviving as long as possible. Not all marriage partners had an age difference, Prince Arthur and Princess Katherine were the same age, for example, but many brides had older husbands, such as Princess Mary who married the 52 years old King Louis Xii when she was eighteen. She was of course his second wife, in the hope of getting him a son after his wife, Anne of Brittany died. Margaret Tudor did find some aspects of her Queenship difficult, especially as James brought his illegitimate sons to Court. But yes for Thomas and the others it was a great honour and one which marked him out as being in favour.

      There is much which needs to be reappraised about Thomas Boleyn and the duel biography of Thomas and George Boleyn by Lauren Mackay does just that. I highly recommend it.

      1. Christine says:

        Il look out for that cheers.

  5. Banditqueen says:

    Thomas and Elizabeth are damned if they do or don’t do anything afterwards and during their life in the view of people on social media or in film media because they are the parents of Anne, Mary and George. In May and June 1536 they were probably in mourning at Hever, but are condemned because they didn’t speak against the King. I usually want to say at this point ” Have you met King Henry Viii? ” yeap, speaking out not a good idea and mourning meant you withdrew from all public duty. In Lauren Mackay’s book we are told that Cromwell wrote to ask him for the settlement of financial support for Jane Boleyn, George’s widow and his response is terse, yes, but please leave me alone. They were clearly too upset for business transactions and they had no hope to saving his children before their execution. We don’t know if they tried to appeal. We have no information but in the second video Claire points out the fate of Anne and George were hopeless and Henry was all Supreme powerful. Eventually Thomas had to enter the service again because he was a peer, not attained, he was a Knight of the Garter, he had a duty to restore themselves as loyal servants to the King and pay court to the new Queen. They had to return to Court, they had to receive favour in order to survive, they had lost so much and they had to face the King who had ordered the death of Anne and George. The sheer grief must have been overwhelming. Anne had been accused of things which brought shame and disgrace on her family, but they knew she was innocent. Yet, as people who were reliant on the King to prosper and live and they had grandchildren to provide for, a widow, their bereaved daughter by law, plus Mary Stafford received help as well. Unlike some families, the Boleyn survivors still had their family home and estates and Thomas most of his titles, which meant convention and loyalty demanded they keep a good face and status and returned to Court. Thomas lost his main office in July of Lord Privy Seal to Thomas Cromwell for his part in the fall of the Boleyn family and own loyal service. That was a huge demotion for Thomas and must also have been a reduction in his income. The humiliation went further as Thomas lent Cromwell his own badge of office and his cloak. The next few months were crucial if they were to regain royal favour, which again was conventional and expected for families of their status. Thomas raised 500 men at short notice and marched to Northampton during the early stages of the popular uprisings of 1536. He was able to return home early because the rebels in Lincolnshire surrendered and went home. He was commanded to attend the baptism of Prince Edward and brought a generous gift.

    I don’t know what to make of the rumours about him going to marry Lady Margaret Douglas, the King’s oldest niece, who was almost twenty three, but it is interesting that it was mentioned abroad in 1538 and it was soon after his beloved wife died. Did Thomas hope to have a son in his later years or was he lonely? We can’t know, of course, but she was past marriage age and Thomas Boleyn back in favour at Court. Was this just gossip or had he asked for her hand in marriage? Cynical people may say it just proves how ambitious Thomas was but there is no evidence for that as he would now be being extra careful and he wasn’t a stupid man, whose life was only ambitious like Thomas Seymour, who proposed marriage to three high born ladies, Princess Mary, Lady Elizabeth and Katherine Parr in a two month period. There is no real evidence about this marriage prospect other than a report abroad but Thomas must have been in favour because at this time Henry Viii was mourning Jane Seymour and unpredictable in his moods. A proposal to his niece needed his approval and any rumours would surely have been stopped if Henry didn’t want it to be so. Thomas may have raised the subject but not gone any further, but again I am speculating. Henry was generous with his friendship and favour but he was also very dangerous when crossed. Having seen his family treated so cruelly at the hands of a man and King he probably loved as well as served faithfully, there is no way Thomas Boleyn was going to do something amounting to treason without his master’s blessing and favour.

    Elizabeth Howard was indeed very close to her bright and beautiful daughter, Anne, acting as her chaperone and sharing an apartment with her at Court, her daughter writing of her love for her mum was so touching. Elizabeth was ill for a few years but I believe the shock of the terrible brutal death of Anne and George made her illness worse. The fact that both Elizabeth and Thomas were dead within less than three years of the execution of their children is very telling. Yes, they were a good age but stress makes illness worse and grief is top of the list for life events which are stressful. Thomas also died less than nine months after his wife. Talk of a breach between them are nonsense. Elizabeth was of higher status than her husband so would have been buried by convention and choice in the nearest Howard vault. She was also in London at the time and Lambeth was closer than Hever and would be chosen as she died near there, unless stated in her will. It was custom for a husband not to attend the funeral of his wife but to have Masses said elsewhere for her. If you don’t know that you might criticise but you don’t understand the sixteenth century. Thomas would have ordered black mourning cloth and horses and to hang in her chapel of repose and for her servants and the female mourners who accompanied a female funeral. There certainly is no evidence that he didn’t love and sincerely mourn his wife, Elizabeth and talk of a second marriage would be unseemly, which is why they were probably only rumours. On the other hand Charles Brandon married his ward within three months of the death of Mary Tudor, the King’s sister. He needed more sons and money and Katherine Willoughby was rich and attractive. There is evidence that he may have waited to consummate the marriage as their first child was not born for two years. I just think Thomas was a bit lonely, raised the possibility of marriage to Margaret Douglas but still mourning his wife and in declining health changed his mind.

    Henry himself showed great respect for Thomas Boleyn and had relied upon him as a loyal and hardworking man and he paid tribute to him when he died, paying for masses for his soul. Thomas Boleyn was ambitious, but why wouldn’t he be? He was a member of the new rising gentry and he was very talented. He entered Royal service as a young man and found himself with a high born wife because of his affiliation to the Howards, who had also worked their way back into Royal favour. Remember John Howard, Duke of Norfolk had died fighting for King Richard iii. His son, Elizabeth’s father, was Earl of Surrey and injured on the field. Henry Tudor locked him up in the Tower. A few years later Thomas Howard was back putting down trouble in the North. His Earldom was restored but not the Dukedom and it was Henry Viii who did that after Flodden. Thomas Boleyn had served Henry Vii against the Cornish rebels and he was rewarded for that. He naturally wanted his family to rise at Court and the Tudors rewarded people because of their skills and talent, not their birthright. He was recognised long before either of his daughters slept with the King and as Claire points out there is no evidence that they were the family meal ticket or he was pushing them into the royal bed in order to gain favour. King Henry Viii relied on men like Thomas to help him rule because he was a play boy King. Thomas had numerous skills, was well educated, intelligent, charming and probably multi lingual. He was respected on the international stage as well as in England and in his own county of Kent. Yeap, it’s about time his and the reputation of the whole immediate family were rehabilitated.

    Claire, I think you should turn off social media on these anniversaries as reading these stupid comments from brainless morons who have no interest in history and who have nothing better to do and that would be less upsetting for you. People are so cruel and silly. Maybe they need to stick to parties and which lipstick to wear. They are not interested in learning or hearing or even taking part in a sensible debate. Please don’t let such nonsense upset you.

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