Mary Boleyn is often overshadowed by her younger sister Anne, whom famously married Henry VIII only to lose her head several years later. Yet despite almost being lost in history Mary Boleyn is a fascinating woman whose life, courage and determination I find inspiring.
Mary Boleyn was the oldest daughter of Thomas Boleyn and Elizabeth Howard. There is little recorded about Elizabeth Howard, she was a lady in waiting to Queen Catherine of Aragon and believed to be of some beauty. Thomas Boleyn on the other hand was fluent in many languages including French and well educated. He was also quick witted and very good at sports, especially jousting which Henry VIII also enjoyed. He used his intellect and talents to work his way up through the English Court and throughout his early years at court received a number of rewards and titles.
There is some debate over when the Boleyn children were born but it is generally believed that Mary was the older sister born in approximately 1499/1500 at Blickling Hall, Norfolk. In 1597, Mary’s grandson Lord Hunsdon wrote a letter to a Lord Burleigh inquiring about the return of the Earldom of Ormond and referring to his grandmother as the older sister. Lord Hunsdon would not have been entitled to the Earldom if his grandmother Mary had not been the older sister, as the title was passed down through the line of the oldest child. Also when Anne Boleyn was created Marquess of Pembroke in 1532 the letters patent referred to Anne as one of the daughters of Sir Thomas Boleyn. If she were the older surely the letters would have stated such. With Mary as the older sister, Anne followed in possibly 1501 and her brother George several years after.
During her time at court, Mary was described as being beautiful, of a giddy nature, high spirited and enjoying all the trappings of court life. She was not however thought of as being as intelligent as her sister Anne or brother George. Despite this Mary was most probably given a good education along with her brother and sister and learnt all the necessaries of being a good and proper lady of the time including reading, writing, sewing, singing, dancing and playing a musical instrument.
In 1514 Mary was sent to the French court to become a lady in waiting to Princess Mary Tudor, whom was to wed King Louis XII. However Mary’s time as a lady in waiting was to be short as after only a few months Louis XII died. After the death of King Louis XII, Princess Mary married Charles Brandon, Duke of Suffolk before returning home to England. There are two trains of thoughts regarding Mary’s whereabouts between this time and 1520. Some historians suggest that Mary also returned with the Dowager Queen to England and became a lady in waiting to Queen Catherine of Aragon. While others propose that Mary, as with her sister Anne, stayed in in France to serve the new King’s wife, Queen Claude.
Whether she stayed only a short time or several years in France it is known that during her time in the country Mary famously became the mistress to Francis I, the new King of France. Her sexual activities, some say, were so well known that even the French King referred to her as ‘The English Mare’ and she was said to be ‘a great wanton and notoriously infamous.’ If Mary did become the mistress to King Francis I then surely she must have had something, beauty, charm, allure about her to capture the attention of a King. Unfortunately it is not known how long her relationship with the French King lasted.
It is known that by 1520 Mary was back in England for on February 4th 1520, in the Chapel Royal at Greenwich, she married Sir William Carey, a handsome young man who became a gentleman of the privy chamber. Henry VIII was present at the marriage and gave the couple 6s and 8d as a wedding present.
During her marriage to William, Mary became the mistress to Henry VIII; Mary Boleyn had now caught the attention of not only one King, but two! It is believed that Mary’s relationship with the King may have started around 1522 when her husband William Carey suddenly started to receive a number of grants. Her relationship with Henry VIII lasted approximately three years and is thought to have ended sometime before 1526. Most probably the relationship fizzled out on its own accord sometime during the end of 1525 when Mary was pregnant with her second child. It has hard to accurately date the relationship as Henry VIII conducted the affair with the upmost discretion and it is likely due to this that dates and encounters were not recorded. There are no accounts of Mary seeking personal gain during her time as the King’s mistress, however her husband received a number of grants and her father continued to rise at court over these years. Thomas Boleyn was made Knight of the Garter and Treasurer of the Household as well as being made Viscount Rochford in 1525.
There is little known about the relationship between Mary and Henry VIII but one interesting account does exist. During the Shrovetide Joust in 1522, Henry VIII rode out wearing on his horse the motto “elle mon coeur a navera” which means “she has wounded my heart”. 1522 is the year proposed when Henry VIII and Mary started their relationship, could it be that Henry was referring to Mary with this motto?
During the time that Mary was the mistress to Henry VIII she gave birth to two children, a daughter named Catherine in 1524 and a son named Henry in 1526. Since Mary was sleeping with the King during the period in which her children were conceived, many people believe that both Catherine and Henry or one or the other could be the illegitimate children of Henry VIII. Unfortunately there is not enough evidence to prove if this in fact was true or not.
Mary’s husband William died on 22ndh June 1528 of the sweating sickness. With William’s death Mary was left a widow with two young children. She was left with a number of debts and the wardship of her son Henry was given to Mary’s sister Anne. No word is made of Catherine but it is presumed that she stayed to be raised by her mother. Mary was luckily granted an annuity of £100 by the King which had previously been granted to her husband.
There seems to be little written about Mary’s life during the period between 1528 and 1534; however we can place Mary in late 1532. It is known that Mary accompanied her sister Anne and King Henry VIII to France in late 1532 when they went to meet King Francis I, as there are records that she was one of the ladies participating in a masquerade to entertain the French King one night. We can also place Mary at court during New Year’s 1533 as records show she was given a gift by the King and in return she gave the King a blackwork collar she had made herself. Mary also pops up again during her sister Anne’s coronation. During the procession Mary rode in the third coach behind Anne with their mother Elizabeth and she wore a dress of seven yards of scarlet velvet. Records also show that during the coronation ceremony Mary attended her sister wearing a gown of scarlet velvet and an ermine cloak and bonnet. It is also believed that after Anne’s marriage to the King, Mary became a lady in waiting to her sister.
After this there are scant details about Mary until she appears once more towards the end of 1534, this time to cause quite a scandal. In 1534 Mary did something rather unthinkable for a woman of her status, she married a soldier named William Stafford. William was a man far beneath Mary’s station in life with only a small income. It is believed that William was born in about 1500 (around the same year as Mary) and was an owner of some land in Essex. He was also a soldier and a gentleman usher to the King. The fallout of this marriage was utterly disastrous for Mary as she was banished from court, most probably for two reasons, first marrying without her family’s permission and for marrying far below her status.
On May 2nd 1536 Anne Boleyn was arrested and taken to the Tower of London, charged with treason, incest and adultery. Her brother George was also arrested and charged with having slept with his sister and for treason against the King. Both were found guilty of their crimes and George was beheaded upon Tower Hill on May 17th and Anne was beheaded on May 19th on Tower Green. There is no evidence that Mary visited her sister or brother during their imprisonment. This is not to say that Mary did not want to, or that perhaps she was not allowed to, in fact there are no surviving records to tell us of Mary’s thoughts or actions at all during this time. Meyer writes in his book ‘The Tudors The Complete Story of England’s Most Notorious Dynasty’, that Archbishop Thomas Cranmer had Anne’s marriage to the King annulled due to consanguinity, that is because Henry had a previous relationship with Anne’s sister Mary and thus Anne’s relationship with the King was incestuous. One can only wonder if Mary knew about this reason, and if she did what her thoughts were on the matter.
The following years appear to be relatively quiet for Mary and her husband William. Catherine Carey, Mary’s daughter became a lady in waiting to Anne of Cleves (Henry VIII’s fourth wife) and married Sir Francis Knollys. William Stafford became a squire of the body and Mary inherited some lands and property from her father after his death including Rochford Hall in Essex. Mary and William were also granted the manors of Southboram and Hendon in Hendon Park and well as some lands in Hever and Bransted, Kent. William Stafford also sold some land to the King. Life may have been a little more financially stable for the couple having several manors and some land and money.
Mary died on either the 19th July 1543 (according to Alison Weir) or 30th July 1543 (according to Josephine Wilkinson) aged approximately forty three. She outlived her more famous sister and brother by seven years. Her place of burial has not been recorded.
The Mary Boleyn I see was every bit as determined and passionate as her younger sister Anne. Mary followed her heart, no matter what the consequences were – just as Anne did in her determination to marry Henry VIII and become Queen of England. In an age where many marriages were arranged by the women’s family, both Anne and Mary defied the rules and followed their hearts. Anne was not going to except no when it came to courting Henry VIII and in her second marriage Mary was just the same. William Stafford was far below her social status but she married him anyway. Why? Because she loved him, she fell passionately in love with a man despite his standing in life and wanted to marry him. She was bold and strong enough to defy the King of England, to defy her sister the Queen of England, to defy her mother, to even defy her father. If that was not the strength of an independent and strong willed woman then I do not know what is.
Mary Boleyn may be the sister that history nearly forgot, but for me I find her to be an incredible woman. From the little that has been recorded about her life we can learn that she was an intelligent woman who appeared to enjoy life and she put her faith in love. I find Mary Boleyn’s determination, strength and passion utterly empowering. To have the strength to follow ones heart despite what society may say or expect of you is extremely inspiring and in my opinion that is one of the bravest and boldest things a person can do.
- Erickson, C 1984, Mistress Anne, St. Martin’s Griffin, New York.
- Fraser, A 2002, The Six Wives of Henry VIII, Phoenix Press, London.
- Friedmann, P 2010, Anne Boleyn, Amberly Publishing, Gloucestershire.
- Hart, K 2009, The Mistresses of Henry VIII, The History Press, Gloucestershire.
- Ives, E 2009, The Life and Death of Anne Boleyn, Blackwell Publishing, Oxford.
- Meyer G.J 2010, The Tudors The Complete Story of England’s Most Notorious Dynasty, Delacorte Press, New York.
- Ridgway, C 2011, ‘The Anne Boleyn Files’, viewed 16th August 2011, Available from Internet .
- Starkey, D 2003, Six Wives The Queens of Henry VIII, Vintage Books, London.
- Weir, A 1991, The Six Wives of Henry VIII, Grove Press, New York.
- Weir, A 2009, The Lady in The Tower The Fall of Anne Boleyn, Jonathan Cape, London.
- Wilkinson, J 2009, The Early Loves of Anne Boleyn, Amberly Publishing, Gloucestershire.
- Wilkinson, J 2010, Mary Boleyn The True Story of Henry VIII’s Favourite Mistress, Amberly Publishing, Gloucestershire.
29 thoughts on “Mary Boleyn: The Unknown Sister by Sarah Bryson”
I think you mean accept not except-look it up
Actually if the grammar is incorrect it makes reading a bit more difficult.
When you are trying to decipher what word is “meant” to be there kind of takes away from the article
P.s. “M” is it? No one needs a grammar troll so find your sense of superiority in something that requires talent and hard work then you can have something to be smug about
Excellent article ! And I concur with the comment from beckiboos…grammar trolls have a lot to learn about true talent !
I find this article very interesting, I have been looking for more info on Mary as I believe I am a direct descendant, if my family history research is correct. Thanks for writing it.
Nicole, if you are descendent’s of the Boleyn family. I would keep digging deeper there’s nothing more interesting than finding out who you are & where you REALLY actually come from. I am of Mexican decent, my mother & father and all of the family I know wereaALL born in the states. BUT I have learned to find my great, greats and so on. All come from Mexico and that the Males & Females back in those times would both fight in the wars. One that stands The Revolution war. I was shown pictures & told of these wars. Dating all the way back to the 1800’s, to the early 1900’s.So Nicole keep going you never know what you’ll find or see.
Before people start to complain ABOUT the misspelled words “SORRY about my dumb spell check on my phone” I apologize ahead of time..
Nicole, It is good to see another descendent of Mary on here. My lineage back to Mary goes through her son Henry. Very interesting information.
Thanks for all the time and dedication you have given !!
Nicole. I found evidence that I descend from Mary Boleyn as well! I am still searching and verifying facts. I never takenthe first few answers I find as concrete proof! I hope your research is going well!
I’m in the process of putting together a lecture about The King’s Great Matter and was reading this, and also the love letters that exist in the Vatican Archives. Claire has these in this website and are declarations of love that demonstrate Henry’s infatuation with Mary’s younger sister.
One letter to Anne in particular made me sit up and wonder and that is letter No. 10 dated 22nd June 1528. If I’m not mistaken, this is the date that Mary’s husband, William Carey, dies of the sweating sickness. So was this love letter written – and there are some interesting words in ithttps://www.theanneboleynfiles.com/resources/anne-boleyn-words/henry-viiis-love-letters-to-anne-boleyn/love-letter-10/ , written before Henry knew of Carey’s death, or after? Is the reference to the young girl Catherine who may, or may not be Henry’s. Considering that Mary was married + she had a dubious reputation from her time at the Court of Francis I, is Henry ensuring that there is sufficient doubt regarding her paternity in guarded language?
I found this article great! Thanks
You meant “utmost,” not upmost.”
First of all. Those of you complaing about the misspelled word or words. Get over yourselves cause I’m sure you have never misspelled a word in your life before. If you understood the word/words which you must of cause you corrected it. So with that being said did you ever think maybe we all understood it too. So you really didn’t have to go through the trouble. I feel this article was very interesting. It sure did answer alot of questions for so many people.
This was a beautiful artucle . I just recently finished reading the novel ” the other Boleyn girl” and am intrigued to learn more 🙂 thank you for putting this together.
All your research is truly appreciated.
You are awesome,
thank you for posting this.
Truly i have no idea if im descended from anyone important in Tudor times, although i wish i was.
Needless to say i am obsessed with all thing Tudor and this just gives me greater knowledge for my research.
Research that i should probably wait a few years to do considering im only 12.
But THANK YOU FOR WRITING THIS.
I love reading about women’s history and this was great too! Thank you so much for all your hard work and misspellings! It’s nice to know that really smart hard working people make the same little mistakes I make too! Keep up all the great work and we will keep reading.
Thanks for the article. Very informative. It is very sad that some people feel the need to pick up on grammatical errors. In my opinion their contributions are a waste of everybody’s time.
This was very interesting to read. This is awesome to see descendants of the actual Boleyn Family on here. I am not of English Descent, but my family has very strong ties to Canadian history:) There are Dumonts all over Canad I’m told, and we go back to either Isador Dumont(My great great great grandfather) or his brother Gabriel Dumont(my great great great uncle) but I loved reading this, it gave me a little more insight into Mary Boleyns life and death:) keep up the good work:)
I have just watched the film The Other Boleyn Girl and wanted to know more about the sisters. I love topics such as this one and also to read interesting and different material online. I have become a huge fan of this period of history and the fact that articles like this one are found is great.
I also enjoy finding out about the different depictions of history portrayed in films, series, paintings and more.
What a heart-breaking feeling is left after knowing about the love, passion and deaths that were in the lives of these kings and queens.
BTW: The movie was great.
Thank you for this article!
Wow all you grammar / spelling police GET a life…I find this article very interesting
Loved reading this account, very informative, thanks.
Thank you. I am also a direct decendent of Mary Boleyn – I love to learn the true history about her. It is so sad what happens to all of these women in history. I think that misspelling a word is just fine as long as the Information is true or part of history . Keep them coming ..Sincerely Cauleen
Very well researched and written article!
Fascinating article. Thank you for sharing your research. Historians might not think Mary was as intelligent as her brother George or sister Anne, but she was smart enough to keep her head.
Loved this! So informative. Thank you for the research. I did not notice misspellings as I am not as nitpicky as some folks. I really enjoyed this! Thanks again!
i found it interesting to read that Elizabeth the first was decended from Anne Boleyn and Queen Elizebeth via the Queen Mother is a direct descendent from Mary Boleyn
Excellent article and thanks Sarah for putting in the effort to do this research. Finding information on so many women is hard because they are often limited to the domestic sphere. However, some made it onto the public stage, but even so, with Mary there is still so much to discover.
P.S Grammar trolls, the odd word being wrong does not distract from this being a great article and if you want to point out something important, a date mistyped for example, then please do so politely. Writers spend a lot of time and effort on these guest articles and Claire and her guests work on on research for them. Please show more respect and appreciation for their hard work, time and something you probably don’t have, knowledge.