What We Wish Anne Had Said by Anon

“Good Christian people, currently masquerading as back-stabbing parasites, I have not come here to preach a sermon, as my gobby brother did, I have come here to die. For according to the law, which is a complete ass, I am judged to die, and therefore I will speak nothing against it, save to say ‘I was done’. I am come hither to accuse no man, except the jury, the judges and everyone else who had a hand in it, nor to speak of that whereof I am accused and condemned to die, even though it’s a pack of lies. But I pray God save the King, because he’s going to need it, and send him long to reign over you, but not too long, for a gentler nor a more merciful prince was there never, and when I say never I mean never. And to me he was ever a good, a gentle and sovereign lord, until he became disillusioned and turned on me like a homicidal maniac. And if any person will meddle of my cause, feel free, because I require them to judge the best, of me that is and not Henry. And I take my leave of the world and of you all, you pack of hyenas, and I heartily desire you all to pray for me, and for yourselves because for most of you this will be you in another few years time.”