From Deep Love to True Hate
Full Title: Anne Boleyn and Henry VIII: From Deep Love to True Hate
‘My mistress and friend: I and my heart put ourselves in your hands, begging you to have them suitors for your good favour, and that your affection for them should not grow less through absence’
This words are written by famous King Henry VIII of England to his beloved Anne Boleyn in the time when he was courting her. Would this man in love ever think that after few years his feelings for Anne grow from love to hate? Probably – not.
What is so special in this love story that makes it different from other love stories? And why after almost 400 years people are still inspired by the affair of a lady and the King?
Anne Boleyn always was and always will fascinate people all over the world. She is one of the most powerful Queens that England has ever had. It is no wonder that King Henry VIII fell in love with this well educated, beautiful and inteligent young lady. But we all know how did this love story ended, and we all are asking ourselves – how it is possible that from such powerful passion and love Henry moved to hate Anne Boleyn?
What could attract Henry to Anne? Was it her beauty? From the contemporary accounts we know, that Anne Boleyn was not considered as beautiful for her times, but still she had ‘something’ that draw the attention. Was it beauty from inside? Maybe her sharp intelligence and political acumen? Surerly Anne was not afraid to speak out her opinions about many things, and this makes her different than other woman who simply listened what man had to say. Anne Boleyn was a woman before her time – she dared to reach for something that other woman would only dream about. Henry VIII knew that Anne is extraordinary woman and that she is a perfect match for him, because they were similar in many ways. The King married Anne – it was not an easy thing to do, and had certain expectations about her.
Before marriage Anne promised Henry something he desired above all – a son, male heir to the English throne and a living image of his father, Henry had no reason to doubt that Anne will indeed give him a son – she was young and able to have a healthy child. What was Henry’s dissapointment when their first child was not a boy, but a girl. However the couple was still happy togeather and Princess Elizabeth was beloved daughter to the King.
Unfortunatly, it was not Anne’s destiny to provide a male heir. It is believed that Anne miscarried three times in a row – first in July 1534, then in June 1535 she probably gave birth to stillborn, the boy was named Henry. Last miscarriage took place in January 1536, and it was also a boy. It is hard to describe how King Henry VIII could feel. He sacrificed so much to marry Anne – first he divorced his wife Catherine of Aragon, separated from the Catholic Church and executed his friend Thomas More. He expected that soon his beloved wife will give him a son, but instead she gave him a daughter and two dead sons. Henry expected also that Anne would obey him in everything. But as I mentioned before – she was not afraid to speak out her opinions, and probably she was expressing her mind in front of Henry. Henry was a man who did not like when somebody is telling him what to do.He was the King of England and it was him to give orders. Many times Anne was also many times jelous of woman near her husband – perhaps she loved Henry and it caused her pain to see him with others, but perhaps she was scared that one of her ladies in waiting will take her place, just as she took place of former Queen.
The 16th century was the times when people used to believe in wiches, and dark powers. Perhaps Henry started to wonder if Anne is not cursed ( she was condemn to die for witchcraft among other charges) and he had right to think this way – she was not able to have a healthy son. Perhaps Henry could not stand that Anne is controlling him and trying to put pressure on him. Also Anne’s jelousy made Henry mad on her, because he expected that she would ‘shut her eyes and endure’ as his previous wife. did.
In my opinion, if Henry knew that Anne will not give him a son, he would probably never married her. But what is very ironic n this story is the fact, that Henry and Anne’s daughter – Elizabeth I Tudor – not the son Henry was so desperate for – was a great ruler, one of the best that England has ever had.
Many times I wonder, did Henry VIII ever regret what he did to Anne Boleyn? He never officially said nothing about this, but we never know what was he thinking about when he was alone. The fact is that this love story will always inspire people, and Anne Boleyn will always remain a mysterious figure in history.
By Sylwia Sobczak Zupanec
Very true. No one really knows what went inside Henry’s head. What he thought and what he felt.. But still one has to wonder if he ever thought of Anne Boleyn and how he thought of her..
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Autumn Reply:
October 25th, 2012 at 4:13 am
Historians say that Henry thought of Anne often and regretted executing her. Some historians say that he even had hallucinations of Anne as he aged. I
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I think that b/c Henry told Jane “Remember what happened to the other Queen who meddled in my affair’s” tells much of how he felt towards Anne. Basically also saying don’t think that I can’t end your life too if I am displeased in anyway.
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So very true.
I always wondered how could he love her so much to do such things like kill his best friend, and change religion, and after that kill her.
But my conclusion is that love of a man could put you on the throne in one moment, and leave you without head in other. It is still like that.
I apologize for my English.
Regards from Croatia!
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Did Herry VIII truly love Anne Boleyn?
In my oppinion,I think he loved her.I don’t think just because he doesn’t get her for seven years that follow. I think he was pursuing her because he loved her.He did many things for her,beared her character.He loved her because her character but We don’t deny he had great stamina. However,marriage was a another story.He was the king,his arrogance,he was a husband who needed respect. But she still remained her character.Today, the couple, too, if not compromise, very easy to make the controversial. I think that is a main cause of their problem.
Second,like other kings,he wanted a son.And she hadn’t son.In particular, Henry was obsessed with having children trai.I think they lived as husband and wife in a short time but Anne was pregnant three times, Henry proved very hard to have a baby with Anne.And in the pursuit of Anne he did not go with other girls. He might have a lot of other children during that time.So I think he loved Anne.
Next, I am not sure but I believed that I do not think he was the man behind the creation of Anne affair because he was an arrogant person. He could find another way to divorced Anne as he did with Catherine of Aragon instead of making himself lose face.Is it choreographed by an opponent of Anne or a misunderstanding?And perhaps he loved her so he was not alert enough to believe her?Henry married Jane immediately whether because he is still angry with Anne?As for he wanted buried with Jane, I think because she born a son for him.And Jane died too soon, the image of Jane in his eyes was still beautiful.
I do not think he was happy when Anne died anyway because they had been together for many years.
So,in his life, Did he sometimes remember Anne? I think he still obsessed by Anne because none of his wives that dared to confront him.
And you? What do you think?
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You have made some very good points; what you have said totally makes sense concerning the psychology of the situation. I mean, the fact that Henry had not apparently gone after other women while pursuing Anne, that her conviction may have been orchestrated by other enemies and court, and the fact that when someone loves someone they might sometimes fear that that some of that person’s behaviour means they do not love them in return, and this cause for confusion could very certainly have been exacerbated by the fact that Henry was no ordinary man but saw things through the veneer of his own view of himself as a divinely ordained monarch with absolute power. We learn that he was also quite sensitive and was unprepared and untrained for the power he suddenly acquired on his brother’s death, and the greater power he acquired when he became head of the Church of England. I am by no means excusing him, I totally despise his behaviour towards both men and women in general, but he was still human and the points you mentioned seems to explain some things. Perhaps his string of wives after Anne’s death was due to his vain attempt to find someone who might really replace her in his mind, and his so quickly replacing her with Jane Seymour was also done perhaps to smokescreen his own feelings from himself with someone totally different. I have seen the same sorts of behaviour patterns, minus of course the beheadings, with men these days when dealing with relationships issues. And naturally due to the age in which he lived as well as his status, Henry’s chauvanism was much greater than that of the average man today.
That he pursued her for so long before “getting” her need not mean that he merely “thought” he was in love with her. She did not give herself to him until they were about to marry, but he had plenty of opportunity to get to know her and make love with her up until then, and plenty of time to do it. This also goes for many relationships today where the people become very close but agree not to sleep together until they are sure, or until the wedding. The fact that he did not insist she sleep with him before seems to imply some sort of respect that he at least perceived that he had towards her, meaning the relationship was not only based on lust but some sort of friendship and affection.
Still, he was a fickle and unstable person with both men and women, and viewed people’s lives more lightly due to his high position and view of himself, and this must also have been a factor in the situation. So I believe the situation was very complex, as “The Tudors” attempts to portray and as all human situations are, and is not based on some simple black and white explanation. Henry himself in view of all the factors may not have fully realized how much she meant to him until she was gone, as is also often the case with men these days.
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Power was more important to Henry VIII than anything else…wives, children, friends, religion. He did not care who or what got in his way. He would simply remove it. He may have been a great King, according to some, but I believe his daughter was a much, much better Queen than he ever was a King!!!!
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I hate Henry VIII. I have just watched “The Other Boleyn Girl” and it seems (from watching the film), that he is heartless man. Romantic, perhaps, but a selfish, heartless man.
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In my opinion, something that is much ignored and not considered, is the psychological fact that he perhaps grew to hate and blame Anne for the mess in which he made in order for them to be together.
It was no secret that the king had pressures on himself and that many people didnt support their marriage, and preferred Catherine much more so. I think Henry had so much guilt for the decisions in which he made regarding the church, and the hatred of his choices, as well as the life’s he had to sacrifice regarding people who did not sign the path nor recognise Henry as the head of the church of England, therefore were excuted in return due to this.
Henry had many pressures upon him and majority of people viewed the way he married anne as somewhat corrupt and dishonest under god- I feel, if anyone were in this situation, he perhaps wanted to refresh his name and start again- thus with a new wife and someone viewed as legitimate and someone whom rumours were not quite alike Anne’s (regarding virtue and being considered as a whore)- he obviously wanted someone with a clean slate- even although Anne had this, others ruined the view of her.
I don’t doubt one minute that Henry didnt love Anne- but he was infatuated by her purely because he could not have her wholly and fully- which made her more appealing and the effort more deserving- he is a typical man, wanting what only he couldn’t have, and once he indeed had her- the grief he received from the people of England and everyone else, seemed as if the effort he put in was not indeed worth it- as he had her fully now and grew tired of her.
The love in which he had for her was that strong it indeed backfired, he started to blame her for the ruin in which he created for them to be together- and therefore started joining in on the hate for her and hated her due to what he had done himself- he blamed her for his doing.
When she was gone; I think the fact he was desperate to remove every trace of her is an undeniable fact that he knew he would be guilty for what he done, as he did indeed love her and any trace in which was left of her, would simply remind him. As the saying goes, the only way to perhaps get over someone, or wipe them from your mind, someone you have indeed loved and adore; is to hate them and despise them. It is the only way to rid of the positivity felt towards them. Which I feel, is exactly what he done, hence why many people are confused on the contrast of change to pure love to hatred; I feel this is the only explanation: and something every man/woman has done in relationships in order to get over their partner or ex, however, in Henry’s case this was taken to the extremes.
Even although Elizabeth grew up no doubt and surrounded by people whom indeed loathed Anne, such as the court of Mary I or just in Henry’s late reign, Elizabeth still knew something dear about Anne and positive, as she kept a ring of her and I have heard, which of course may be a rumour but makes me happy to believe, that she did not allow whilst in reign any negativity to be spoken of her nor did Elizabeth herself believe the things in which happened- perhaps whilst in reign she earned to know more about her mother and the case made against her, but I wish and hope she spoke to Henry later in his reign regarding the issue, as for some strange occurance, she believed her mother to be vastly intelligent, and somewhat a role model and idol, as she held her dearly every day on her finger. Let me know what you think.
Something to think about..
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Did Henry really love Anne Boleyn or was it lust? There is an old saying that love and hate are just two sides on the same coin.
I think thaat Henry began by desiring Anne, then he realised two things about her; one that she had a brain and was not willing to just use her body as her sister had done; two that she could match him and Katherine in whit and determination.
As time went by and the two spent more time together they became genuinely attracted to each other, although I think wih Henry it was something more akin to an obsession than deep growing love. I believe they were passionate together and that Anne offered him something more. She offered him herself as a second wife: as a Queen and that gave a new dynamic to their relationship. It meant they had to be restrained and self disciplined and they also had to learn patience. Henry wanted to divorce Katherine and Anne offered herself as his next Queen. So now they both had to decide what they wanted sexually out of the relationship. That meant they could not have sex willy nilly as to do so risked the production of an illigitimate child or children, something neither of them wanted. Henry needed and wanted a male heir and Anne was saying that she was the woman who could provide him with this heir. He had to show her some honour as the mother of his future heir and that meant sexual restraint: for both of them.
I also believe that because of the length of their relationship and this restraint that it became possible that their love deepened and they got to know each other on many different levels including a spiritual level. Anne seems to have had some personal influence over Henry and his thinking and he seems to have been pleased to go along with some of her demands during their courtship. Anne was treated on a more equal level during the years 1529-1531 than any mere mistress would have been, which seems to indicate that as a couple they were open with each other. Henry seems to have depended upon her and trusted her. But once they were married that situation changed.
I also believe that once Anne and Henry were married their relationship completely changed. He was not prepared to be dictated to by a wife. Yes, Katherine may have advised him and shared much of his decision making during their early years, but he became more and more independent in his actions and thinking as the years went by. Now all he wanted from Anne was a son. He lavished attention on her, that was needed and even after the birth of Elizabeth, their are some indications that they were still in love. But as Anne began to fail in her pregnancies the same as Katherine had sadly done: Henry became disallusioned by her.
Henry began to demand that Anne behave like an obedient wife and accept that he had a right to have mistress from time to time. She just could not accept this as Anne clearly loved Henry in a much more dependent way than he did her. He had lost his passion for her and resented the way she argued with him and contradicted him. Henry had changed the laws of the country to protect Anne and when his councillors: Sir Thomas More in particular did not bend the knee to her and refused to accept her as the true Queen; he blamed Anne for forcing him to execute them. There is some argument that marriage to Anne had changed Henry and his friends certainly believed this. She began to get in the way of his foreign policy and the refusal to recongise her as Queen abroad began to upset Henry. He began to think that he had made a mistake in marrying her. By Summer 1535 the marriage was in trouble.
Anne was in danger, she was paranoid about her position as Queen, she was not secure in her role as long as she did not have a son, and her enemies were gaining ground and influence. I believe that by now Henry had began to fall out of love with his Queen, and was in search of another wife. He could not do anything as she was with child so she may be able to give him a son. But I do not believe that he hated Anne at this stage. This came suddently with the miscarriage in Janaury 1536 and the realization that Anne wanted to kill Katherine and Mary or at least said so in her rages. Henry could not return to Katherine or leave Anne while they both lived, but he could once Katherine was dead. Anne sealed her own fate when she lost Henry’s son on 29th January 1536. He felt deceived by her; he may have felt betrayed and let down, and he was angry. His love had turned to hate. It was a hate that was to believe that she was guilty of adultery, treason and plotting his death.
By the end of February 1536 Henry was probably in love with Jane Seymour; we cannot be sure; but one thing is certain: he no longer loved the wife that he had sacrified everything for; but her alleged betrayal with his friend Henry Norris tore him apart. I think Henry went into shock and never forgave Anne for either the loss of their son or this alleged adultery. It is this that changed him and would force him to look at everything blackly from now on. Not even Jane could bring out the happier side of Henry, not for long anyway.
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