Guys are complete pigs anymore. The only thing on their mind is… well, sex. I admit there are probably a handfull, literally, of guys who are gentlemen and genuine. Maybe it's because they are young and want to enjoy life then settle down and show their soft sides…?

Maybe my advice or thoughts won't be helpful because i tend to be on the cynical side.

I agree, when I was 15 I worked in a pub/restaurant as a waitress – all the football players for the local football club would come in and grab at me. When I told the manager he told me I was paid to show customers a good time?! Guess I should have re-read the job description then…

I would get grabbed when I went out to pubs or clubs in my late teens, until I started going to metal/alternative clubs/pubs, where I found the guys a lot more respectful. But that then started new problems, as I would get abuse from drunk men on my way home – who because of how I looked, thought it was OK to start a fight with me. I've been punched in the face by a man because I looked like a 'Goth'.

Ultimately I gave up with British men, because I found many of them disrespectful, and married an American

The Angel of the Household stereotype which was beloved by the Victorian middle-class was  very damaging to the image of women in much the same way that the sexually voracious vixen who seduces her way though all men.

However sexual harassement has always happened. The house-maid raped by the master of the house,slave-owners in the southern US states increasing thier stock of slaves,  and so on and so forth.

The fact that women have been 'allowed' more freedom of movement from the early 1920's to now added to the increasing political awareness of women's rights means that rapes, sexual assaults are not ignored as ” well, she/he must have been asking for it” to it becoming a crime that should be prosecuted. But isn't always…

Anyanka, as I'm a bit of a technophobe I don't understand what words your letters represent (ok, I get OTOH must be on the other hand, but the rest of it is lost on me), so I have no idea if you're taking the mick out of me or not. In any event my values are sincere, so if others choose to sneer at those beliefs, or think me very old-fashioned, then that's up to them I guess.

Neil Kemp said:

Anyanka, as I’m a bit of a technophobe I don’t understand what words your letters represent (ok, I get OTOH must be on the other hand, but the rest of it is lost on me), so I have no idea if you’re taking the mick out of me or not. In any event my values are sincere, so if others choose to sneer at those beliefs, or think me very old-fashioned, then that’s up to them I guess.

I’m sorry if you felt I was mocking you, because I wasn’t . I was mocking the fake-gentleman who in order to show his thoughtfulness , he’ll knock some-one aside to open the door for them, whether they need it or not.

Or in the case of my brother in law (BIL) wouldn’t let me carry heavy groceries but had no problem with letting me carry his much heavier, mobile son for a much longer distance cos that’s what women do with children.

I apologise if you thought I was attacking you personally.

I am probably going out on a limb here, and a thin shaky one at that but as far as nightclubs go I have to ask what else do girls expect these days when they are dressed in less than I wear on the beach? They are going to a place where they know copious amounts of alcohol will be consumed by males, females and in betweeners alike. They know that a strapless top, micro mini skirt, thong and long boots adorning a tanned (ahem) body topped with long hair which has been ironed to within an inch of its life is the visual equivilent of standing under a lamp post chewing gum and staring at male drivers cruising past. Then they have the audacity to be ‘offended’ when a male acts like a male acts. If a female is old enough to enter a nightclub then surely she is also old enough to know that men are easily distracted/attracted and most of not all of their libido operates on visual stimulus so why go out dressed for sex then be shocked that a male at some point in the night and probably under the influence of alcohol and equally drunken mates, responds to the visual sexual stimuli. The honest truth is they dress provocatively to provoke a response added to which they drink alcohol and lose all sense of decorum. I am not saying quite baldly that girls ask for ‘it’ because they don’t necessarily but they do NOT protect themselves from ‘it’. They aim to provoke the males then cry foul when the male responds.
I know, I ‘ve been around a while, there is a train of thought which says a woman should be able to walk the streets naked if she wants and not be seen as sexual. Fine, be as PC as you want but personally I think that is the most stupid argument there is.
A bit like saying from your bed in intensive care ‘but the green man was showing when I crossed, I had right of way, it’s not fair’ after being knocked down and almost killed by a runaway truck which has suffered from brake failure.
I am sorry I just know I have offended people but honestly we all male or female have to take responsibility for ourselves. Putting yourself in danger and then crying foul is IMO extremely immature.

Boleyn,
Are you sure they are not more afraid of your intellect rather than being put off by the way you look? I think men, like the ones we are talking about here, tend to shy away from intelligent women. They would be quite put off by an intelligent blonde as well. They are not worth your time. These men need to be put in their place more often. I am quite petite, but I have a mouth that would make Anne Boleyn proud.
The same things happened when I was single and I dressed in jeans and T-shirts. Completely covered from head to toe. It never mattered to those men what anyone was wearing. We went through the same thing Claire-Louise is going through today. You have to use your voice and shut them down.