Henry’s Lament

I used to be so handsome,
And the ladies found me fun.
But now if I go out to play
I’m prone to hide the sun.

I’ve always loved our wildlife;
All those ducks and geese and hogs.
There’s nothing that can beat them
As they’re roasted over logs.

There was a time in days gone by
When I remember being thin.
But all that changed a while back
When I found a double chin.

My feet were viewed quite easily;
I could see them clear as day.
Now they hide beneath my tummy
Like a pair of manta ray.

I was also quite the sportsman,
As I beat my men hands down.
Now I like to take things easy
In my fleecy dressing gown.

I always dressed so carefully,
And was considered quite the dandy.
But it’s hard to maintain energy,
And continue feeling randy.

One glance at pretty ladies
Made my manhood stand elite.
But sadly now a similar glance
Leaves it dangling round my feet.

I had a wife, and then some more;
I was certainly not a saint.
But the thought of marrying a seventh
Makes me feel a little faint.

If I could turn the hands of time,
I’d do it differently.
But then again that may be hard
Now I’ve lost my sanity.

Oh I wish I could go back in time;
If I could I surely would.
But my jousting days are over,
And my sanity’s gone for good!